ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
