Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
