Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I need help removing her.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
