remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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