Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
