It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
