How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Terrible idea I love it
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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