I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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