I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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