Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
