Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
