The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
