I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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