it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
