Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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