I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
