i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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