This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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