summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
