Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The best revenge is premature balding
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Randomize
