Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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