glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
