I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
