Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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