I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
