We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
