yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
