just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
