I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
People with herpes should wear stickers.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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