we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize