I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
