We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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