Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Send help, water and tortillas.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
