I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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