Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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