are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
