he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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