Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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