Whod you bang
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
