I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
