I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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