OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
