I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
