So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
