I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
