i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
