Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
