In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
