yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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