I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
