it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
