tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
