two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
