Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
