We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
