im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Terrible idea I love it
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
