I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
