Walk of Shame. In a state park.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
